My kids and I were invited to a Cinco de Mayo party last night. It was being hosted by the parents of a friend of my son. We were the only “school friends” invited and everyone else attending would be work friends and neighbors of the hosts.
So other than the hosts, we wouldn’t know anyone.
My daughter had plans already with friends for the night, so it would just be Handsome and I attending,
I could have easily declined, stating some sort of conflict for the reason.
I could have even easier, dropped off my son to hang with his friend, and given some excuse as to why I couldn’t stay.
And believe me, I toyed with both of those ideas.
It might not sound like a big deal to some, but going to a party, as a single person, where odds are the other attendees will all be couples you have never met, is a tad bit intimidating.
However, I responded with a cheerful “yes”, that both Handsome and I would be coming.
Surprisingly, I realized how much I use my daughter as a social crutch in situations like these. If she were coming, it would have been a breeze. She would have been by my side the entire night….someone for me to sit with, someone for me eat with, someone for me to chat with. But she wasn’t coming and know looking back, I am glad.
We arrived with goodies in hand and Handsome immediately ran off with his friend while I graciously accepted a margarita from the host. I helped a bit in the kitchen and slowly the “others” started to arrive.
I kept waiting for someone to ask about my husband, but no one did. Whew. I always hate having to say “I’m divorced”, because people usually respond with “Oh, I’m sorry” and then I say “There’s nothing to be sorry about” and it’s just awkward from there.
The hosts have backyard chickens, and they were a great conversation piece while a group of us went out to investigate them. I kept myself in the mix, chatting and meeting all sorts of new people and it was actually fun and easy!
I have to say with all honesty, there was not one single minute that I felt out of place, uncomfortable or awkward at all. Everyone was nice and easy to talk to and my social confidence quickly returned.
I ended up having a heart-to-heart with a woman in her fifties who was a single mom for 15 years. I don’t meet many single women and I could have been brought to tears talking to her because she just totally got it all. It was really an encouraging conversation.
I am so glad, and actually proud of myself for going to this party solo. Well, relatively solo………Handsome was there, but off all night doing 9-year-old boy things, of course.
I’m going to say this is a Year of Barb success. I didn’t have this on my mental list of things to accomplish, but it deserves a big check!
I feel the same way at times in social situations, and being a single Mom with no significant other. I have been trying lately to involve myself more with volunteering at sporting events for my sons (both are very active in middle school and varsity athletics within our school district). Just last week, I was asked to help with the track meet concession stand. I was thinking of making an excuse, but thought “it’s only a few hours”. I went and I had FUN meeting other parents and their kids. I have four more years within this stuff, so I’m slowly starting to get out there more.
Kudos to you for opening yourself up to new possibilites and meeting new people!!
Good for you for going anyway. I’m glad it was such a pleasant experience for you. I remember having to deliberately adopt a mindset to psyche myself into going to events where I wouldn’t know anyone. The best tactic I learned was to give myself a job: learn 3 peoples names, find a new restaurant to try, compliment 2 outfits, etc. Having a purpose made me feel comfortable, and thus more people would come up to talk to me.
Good for you! I’m glad you went a bit beyond your comfort zone and had a great time. Another step in the YOB!
Nice job! It is usually when we push ourselves beyond the comfort limits that amazing things happen.